It is high time you stopped playing an empath to a narcissist
An empath is one who unknowingly takes the tantrum and rubbish from a narcissist.
By Rama Awasthi
Narcissism is a personality disorder. The person who is living with this does not recognise it. For a narcissist, it is a very normal way of living.
Such people have an urgent need for attention, recognition and validation all the time. They are completely unaware of others’ needs. They do not believe in giving space to others and their conversations are mainly in the form of monologues. Also, they live in a world where they rule and everybody else has to follow them. Needless to say, due to these tendencies they have very few friends.
They love to control and dominate and they become very angry if they do not receive special treatment. It is said that the cause of narcissism is both genetic and environmental in nature.
Every narcissist has an empath in life. The empath is the one who is unknowingly taking the tantrum and rubbish from the narcissist. At workplace that can happen between a boss and a subordinate and in personal life it can happen between a parent and a child.
Narcissists are manipulative by nature and they behave in a way where the empath feels that he/ she is responsible for all that is going wrong with the narcissist and in general. A narcissist puts all the blame on the empath and feeds on the guilt and fear created as a result in the empath. It is known as ‘gaslighting’, that is, manipulating someone psychologically into doubting their own sanity, creating guilt and fear and then feeling empowered by doing this.
Both the narcissist and the empath are highly sensitive in nature, but there is a difference. Narcissists are sensitive only for themselves whereas empaths are sensitive about the whole world. Most of the empaths are not aware of spiritual reasons of being in this toxic condition. They keep taking the guilt and blame till their breaking point comes. There are certain lessons an empath can learn from this toxic condition in his/her life. Because unless the lesson learnt, he/she will keep having a narcissist in life in one or the other way.
Every narcissist has an empath in life. (Image: Thinkstock)
• Empaths need to know that they are responsible for themselves first and then to others. The way to others’ happiness is not through them. So they should look at their need to please others. An empath feels for everyone and wants to contribute to make the world a better place. As a result, the habit of pleasing others develops. A narcissist loves being pleased and keeps creating situations while an empath is in pleasing mode all the time. This situation is very draining and toxic in nature. So, stop pleasing others.
• It is said that arguing with a narcissist is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you. Simply putting forth arguments and even discussions with a narcissist do not bring any positive change. A narcissist is far beyond all that. An empath needs to learn to have faith in oneself. This decreases the need for others’ approval.
• An empath needs to know that a narcissist is not only completely unaware of others’ emotional needs but also has a deaf ear to the pain that others are going through because of him/ her. So making him/her aware of your pain and suppression only feeds a narcissist to become stronger in this disorder. Tears cannot budge a narcissist. Please stop explaining about how much you are going through. Rather, take action.
The action can even include walking away. An empath needs to learn to shed fear.
Working on the Solar Plexus and Root Chakra helps a lot.
When an empath emerges as a strong personality by stopping to please people and taking action, then he/she is no more the favourite of a narcissist. Remember, it’s about feeding. If we keep feeding narcissists then we will be their favourites. Also, it’s important to check the patterns of life. Ask yourself if it is the first time that you are having a narcissist in your life. If you review your life and answer yourself honestly, the answer will be NO. This is because an empath generally attracts narcissists right from childhood. Check your need to have a narcissist in life and work towards being emotionally independent.
—The writer is a wellness consultant.